and my U.S. History teacher was trying to get us to understand why it was such a big deal that England had put a tax on colonial sugar, and he goes,
"What if you had to pay a tax every time you logged onto wifi?"
And the whole class just went
and I heard at least two people whisper “I would murder someone”
The perfect comparison.
Famous Last Words:
- Pardon me, sir. I did not do it on purpose. - Queen Marie Antoinette after she accidentally stepped on the foot of her executioner as she went to the guillotine.
- I can’t sleep. - J. M. Barrie, author of Peter Pan
- I should never have switched from Scotch to Martinis. - Humphrey Bogart
- I am about to — or I am going to — die: either expression is correct. - Dominique Bouhours, famous French grammarian
- I live! - Roman Emperor, as he was being murdered by his own soldiers.
- Dammit…Don’t you dare ask God to help me. - Joan Crawford to her housekeeper who began to pray aloud.
- I am perplexed. Satan Get Out. - Aleister Crowley – famous occultist.
- Now why did I do that? - General William Erskine, after he jumped from a window in Lisbon, Portugal in 1813.
- Hey, fellas! How about this for a headline for tomorrow’s paper? ‘French Fries’! - James French, a convicted murderer, was sentenced to the electric chair. He shouted these words to members of the press who were to witness his execution
- Bugger Bognor. - King George V whose physician had suggested that he relax at his seaside palace in Bognor Regis.
- It’s stopped. - Joseph Henry Green, upon checking his own pulse
- LSD, 100 micrograms I.M. - Aldous Huxley (Author) to his wife. She obliged and he was injected twice before his death.
- You have won, O Galilean. - Emperor Julian, having attempted to reverse the official endorsement of Christianity by the Roman Empire.
- No, you certainly can’t. - John F. Kennedy in reply to Nellie Connally, wife of Governor John Connelly, commenting “You certainly can’t say that the people of Dallas haven’t given you a nice welcome, Mr. President.
- I feel ill. Call the doctors. - Mao Zedong (Chairman of China)
- Tomorrow, I shall no longer be here. - Nostradamus
- Hurry up, you Hoosier bastard, I could kill ten men while you’re fooling around! - Carl Panzram, serial killer, shortly before he was executed by hanging.
- Put out the bloody cigarette!! - Saki, to a fellow officer while in a trench during World War One, for fear the smoke would give away their positions. He was then shot by a German sniper who had heard the remark.
- Please don’t let me fall. - Mary Surratt, before being hanged for her part in the conspiracy to assassinate President Lincoln. She was the first woman executed by the United States federal government.
- Now, now, my good man, this is no time for making enemies. - Voltaire when asked by a priest to renounce Satan.
No, but you forgot the best one
Either this wallpaper goes, or I do- Oscar Wilde, dying in an unfortunately papered hotel room
Oh my, Voltaire. I laughed at that one, too.
Nostradamus oh my god
let me just tell you. the easter bunny is real, all right. real grumpy. real annoying. and really full of himself
don’t let the easter kangaroo see this
my room was getting cold so i went to check if my vent was open and
THIS IS PERFECT!!!!
On average, you have a 1 in 18,989 chance of being murdered
A trans person has a 1 in 12 chance of being murdered
The average life span of a cis person is about 75-90
The average life expectancy of a trans person is 23-30 years old
75% of people killed in anti LGBT hate crimes are poc
Think about this the next time you go crying over “cisphobia” and “reverse racism”
it’s funny how providing accommodations to a disabled student is “unfair to the rest of the class” yet imposing a standard on a disabled student that is based on the capabilities of able-bodied students is fair and impartial, isn’t it funny how that works?
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