shrimp are referred to as an abomination four times more than homosexuality is in the bible
Iron Man (2008): Deleted Scenes
Tony Comes Home
can you imagine though, jarvis all alone in tony’s malibu house? jarvis who of course doesn’t have any physical form at all, jarvis who at this point occupies just the house and tony’s phone—jarvis, who is dependent on tony for everything, who lives essentially in tony’s pocket, suddenly being completely alone for the first time in his silicon life.
and every ten minutes on the dot for days and days and days he accesses the latest news reports, re-calculating and re-calculating tony’s chances at survival, endlessly running the numbers. and nobody told him to do that. tony’s house was empty and dark and nobody told jarvis to keep an eye on the news but he did. jarvis could have just spun down his hard drives and gone into hibernate mode, but he didn’t.
no, he watched the news. he stood vigil. he waited and he hoped that his calculations were wrong. that one day he would be able to say welcome home, sir once more.
Emotional state: upset about robots.
Well yea, kids get upset when their parent isn’t around.
I HAVE SO MANY JARVIS FEELS RIGHT NOW
Post reblogged from That's the thing about pain, it demands to be felt with 122,019 notes
if britney spears toxic didn’t affect your life in some way i don’t want to know you
ah, yes. one of earth’s traditional ballads.
bless you for making a sad scene into a funny one
Sexuality is fluid
you are permitted a maximum of one 3.4 oz (100 ml) bottle of sexuality per passenger, all bottles must be carried inside a ziplock bag and placed in a bin for inspection prior to boarding the aircraft
my friend left her window open in her bedroom and came back to find this
look at his self-satisfied little face, the cheeky shit
if there was a post to describe australia, this is it
you mean to tell me this isn’t even a pet bird?
that in australia, you have wild birds that just fly from house to house with the express purpose of fucking shit up?
fucking HELL australia, what is wrong with you?
wake up australia
That’s what birds do
They fly around and fuck shit up
Do you have some kind of mysterious nice birds in your weird foreign country
Do birds in America and England fly into your house and make the bed and tidy up the living room a little bit
It’s cold here, so they just bounce off the windows and lie there and twitch spasmodically while you look for the shovel.
Basically hurling themselves at windows is the worst thing birds do
yeah man a kookaburra literally flew into a classroom at my high school and just sat his smug ass down on top of the desk for a good 20 minutes
why has nobody mentioned the fact that in australia there are 3-4 months a year where everybody just accepts that they’re going to get attacked by magpies. It is literally called “swooping season” and these birds will fly down to peck your fucking face, and people get their eyes ripped out and shit, it’s fucking brutal.
My teacher had to go to hospital and have surgery because of swooping season. It was in the parking lot of school and all the kids would do a mad dash towards the car as the magpies tried to kill us.
no but when you’re 12 years old and riding your bike like mad on the way home from school with an icecream bucket on your head with like branches and shit sticking out if it to scare them off and none of this is considered strange
what the actual fuck australia
Taco Bell reigns supreme.
when you throw a surprise birthday party for your friend
THIS WEBSITE HAS TAKEN IT TOO FAR
These puns are unavoidable
it’s amazing how only a few words can make your day instantly better
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